FalseProphets

Burger Bloglet Via Blackberry.

Say that title fast three times. I dare ya..!

Mr Smarty Pants is at a place called "The Burger Joint" on third ave. Near 20 st.
 
  The burgers go for a buck and are made from fresh spheres of sirloin pressed and grilled right before your eyes.  Easily double the size of a White Castles belly bomb. And just plain better to boot. I'm having four of them...with fries and a chocolate soda.  See..?  Sometimes it's good to be me.

The Unholy Guacamole

  Mr. Smarty Pants went to work today.  Last nite before going to bed i had hoped to get up a little late and motorbike to work in about 15 minutes maybe stopping at Mickey D's for a healthy breakfast.
Instead i woke up late to a sheet of ice and snow covering my street.  The #7 train was not running to the city because of "necessary track work" over the weekend....so i had to take a cab to work.  The way home was just as convoluted but the weather was nicer.  But my hatred for snow and the MTA only grows like a cancerous tumor or worse yet; grows like a Starbuck's franchise. (though i do like their coffee...)

Working at the hospitals on the weekend was at one time almost relaxing.  You could go about the day seeing patients with little restraints on time spent with each individual.  Now it has become a fast moving assembly line of prefabricated healthcare that would have Henry Ford grinning with pride but paying for medical visits out of pocket.

Haste makes waste....and if i were in the waste business i'd be a mogul. But i'm not in the waste business.  And hasty is not a term used to describe me.  So needless to say there is a conflict of interest here.  A conflict that i would lose if i chose to face up to it at this time.  So for now i'll just bite my lip till i draw blood and smile.

I came home to do laundry as is the routine for me on most saturdays.  My fiance drove in to join me for this wonderful event which is also becoming a routine.  She meets me...we go to my favorite laundry mat where we converse while separating lights from darks and then while the laundry is in the machines we go to a local diner that we often frequent.  It's been there forever it seems (the diner).  It's run by a Mexican crew thats been there a long time and serves an old Irish population that's been there for even longer.  So in addition to well made traditional diner fare...they also prepare Irish and Mexican dishes.  And apparently they do them all quite well.

Tonite my fiance had the spaghetti with meat sauce.  I had the guacamole burger deluxe.  Mr. Smarty Pants loves guacamole.  It's the food of the gods.  And on this burger it was a bright green with a most wonderful scent of garlic and spices.  And it was delicious.  But a bit spicy.  At first the spiciness was a welcome and flavorful warmth that pleased the tongue.  But then...quietly and insidiously my mouth began to warm beyond what i had imagined possible.  My nose began to run and my sinuses purged with a steam like heat.  My eyes reddened and tears ran from them.  Perspiration accumulated on my forehead then ran to my eyebrows and once those were saturated the solution of sweat, tears, and hairspray ran into my eyes irritating them even more and worsening the cycle of heat.

Meanwhile i was drinking everything around me to cool my tongue...first both our waters, then both our pepsi's, then the ketchup, oil and vinegar...etc.  Meanwhile the guacamole was burning a whole through my bowels that reminded me of a scene from the movie Alien.

At this point the cook approached me with a concerned look.  He asked..."Muy caliente..?"  to which i replied "Es perfecto......mas agua por favor..."

Man...was that a good burger.