FalseProphets

Why Hillary - Clinton = A non factor....

Experience.....

   Who is it in the Democratic party that has the necessary experience to be the nominee for President of these United States..??

Hillary..??

In the very early workings of her campaign she wanted to distance herself so much from her beloved husband that she dropped the "Clinton" name from her campaign.  It's all about Hillary.  Right..??

Um...ya.  Right.  (gag...)

There are those supporting Hillary for being Hillary. (more on that later....).  But there are at least just as many supporting her because she is married to Bill Clinton. And voting for Hillary is like voting for Bill in the sense that he'll be the last person she speaks to before shutting off the lights at night and the first one she speaks to when that "phone call" arrives at 3 a.m.  And everywhere in between there will be Bill.

    So what is this "experience" that Hillary has over Obama..??  Her greatest claim to experience must be the one she gained through osmosis by being married to Bill.  After all it is he who has the foreign policy experience...so if you vote for her it's a 2-fer.  Other than that...her record hasn't been all that spectacular.  being elected as a Democratic state senator for New York is truly her first elected position.  And having lived here all my life i can't recall anything significant she's done off the top of my head.  And i have a very flat head....and thus very good at holding onto things.  What i do know is that in this city at least...the poor are getting poorer...the rich are getting richer and the "help wanted" ads are shrinking.  Oh...and what of the middle class you say..???  What middle class...?  New York City is becoming more and more like Dubai...except more socially diverse....and with more unemployment and poverty.

The End Game...

  Did you know Hillary's got her people planning an "end game" strategy...??  Roger Simon from Politico.com reports on the next Hillary strategy.  this is the kinda stuff that can really piss me off.  Pardon my french. 

Roland Martin of CNN wrote on how Barack needs to make adjustments in his campaign.  He speaks about how the Hillary campaign seems to be skipping over the upcoming primaries on Mississippi and Wyoming while sending Bill straight to Pennsylvania to rile up the troops.  Barack's supporters need to sieze upon that.  Every vote must count.

  And as for Florida and Michigan..???  They want to be counted..?? then lets do the votes over.  And let them foot the bill.  This is a very important vote and even more important election.  if you can't manage somehow to take the time to do that even for a second time...then your vote shouldn't even matter.

  Way too many people have sacrificed and died for the right to do that.  They continue to do so.  Let's not belittle such an honor.  If not...we will end up with more of the same old, same old.

As read on e-mail....

  Yes i am a member of Harlem for Obama as well as several other groups and this is my first post.  We shall continue to fight the good fight.  Do not be discouraged.  Truly the top priority on our agenda should be to make sure that we do not have another Republican President in 2009.  That said....life consists of peaks and valleys...and Obama supporters are in a valley right now but we need to use this to our advantage.  Barack was by no means defeated and we must not take any of our victories for granted.  Clinton supporters rallied...primarily because of her new tactics trying to frighten Americans.  It was the same tactic Bush has been using for 2 terms.  Fear is a very strong motivator.  But it generally works best for tyrants and dictators.

  Who do i want answering that phone call at 3 a.m..??  Do i want a level headed, rational member of government with a very consistent stance on many positions and an ability to quell fear and worry...someone who will not bow to special interests or succumb to wild mood swings and yet oozes compassion...

Or....

  Do i want Hillary...??

I think i've said enough.  Lets continue to fight the good fight.  Remember the New England Patriots and the flawless season they had up until they met the scrappy young upstarts called the N.Y. Giants.   Ya hate sports euphemisms..??  Ok...let me put it this way....we can lose a few games and still win the Superbowl.

Got it..??

So get your sorry butts in gear and give this old goat something to cheer about.

Signed.....Anon...

Food for thought says I.

The Obama-nation of Hillary...or...McCain and able.

Yes...Mr. Smarty Pants lives.  It's been a while and i imagine i "got some 'splainin' to do" but i'll do it over time as i don't have the stomach for personal stuff at this time.  So...i'll jump right to it.  Mr. Smarty Pants has always had a soft spot for Barack when he first came on the "presidential" scene.  Hey...i liked him so much i sent him some money.  And Mr. Smarty Pants doesn't send money to anyone.  Except mastercard and visa and that loveable old spendthrift...Uncle Sam.  but if i'm giving him money then that man is destined to be nominated.  And Hillary isn't helping herself any with her strategy.  That strategy being one of negativity.  A strategy of fear.  A Republican strategy.

This election will be a different one in the sense that Hillary's campaign strategy will not work.  Americans need inspiration and the anticipation of major changes for the better.  What we don't need is someone else telling us that the other person does not have the experience, or whose supporters are delusional and unrealistic.  it also doesn't help Hillary to express how honored she is running against Barack and less than 24 hours later angrily expressing how ashamed she is of his campaigning methods.  Makes her seem a bit bipolar.  Not what we need in a Commander in Chief.

  Not to mention if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination then the Republicans have an excellent chance of winning another term with a Republican as president.  And right now Mr. Smarty Pants wants that like he wants a colostomy bag.

Speaking of colostomy...i see Obama as a purge to the system of American government.  He would be like castor oil to the Executive branch of government.  And God knows our government needs a triple dose of colon blow.

But....if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination...then McCain will be able. 

I was a big fan of Bill back in the day.  But i think the executive branch of government needs a purge. Hillary is not that purge.  She is not the bringer of change.

Barack is the real deal......Neal.

Letter of Absence.

  Wow. Mr. Smarty Pants has been missing in action for over 2 months of time.  And my sincerest apologies.
I seem to have lost my way.  There have been many nights where i sat before the pc...my mind flooded with thoughts but no cohesion; and have been unable to "produce" anything.

  The more time passes the more difficult it becomes.  Gramma's death was a watershed moment for Mr. Smarty Pants.  I have always questioned things happening around me.  But now i question things happening inside me.  No. i am neither pregnant or playing host to an alien.  But now i have doubts about things i felt rather sure of before.  So...Mr. Smarty Pants needed a little time to sort things out in his head.

  There.  That's better. (not)

So much has happened in the world over the last weeks.  Mr. Smarty Pants won't even try to rehash all the shit from immigration and border control, to the rising prices of gasoline and come to think of it everything else.  And of course there's the decline of the Russian population which for whatever reason disturbs me.

So....to get my feet wet i'll stick to one recent topic that lit a fire under my ass.

The NSA is tracking our calls.

  Onto itself this is truly no great surprise to Mr. Smarty Pants.  They are after all the NSA.  Spying is what they do.  The NSA seems to lack the resources and know how to look for Al Queda abroad but decide that tens of millions of Americans deserve to be monitored for possible terrorist links.

  The government searches about 6% of container ships coming in from abroad but figures it has a better chance of detecting terrorists by tracking our phone calls.

  You can pretty much walk across our borders from north and south and east and west (well..swim from the latter two...) but George decides it's best to look into who his constituency calls in order to find the terror from within.

  Zarqawi and Bin Laden make more videos than Britney Spears and we can't find them. So...lets spy on our own citizens.

  What a bunch of pricks.

A New York Times/ CBS news poll found Bush's approval rating at 31%.

31%.

  To Mr. Smarty Pants this still means that three in ten Americans need to get the shit kicked out of them.  Or in the least have some sense knocked into them. Personally i prefer the former.

  Basically a 31% approval rating means that you really suck at whatever it is your doing.  Carried further it also means that maybe you should be doing something else for a living.  Something like testing for dud artillery shells with a hammer.  Lots of people suck at doing their jobs...and that's....ok.  But people like that shouldn't be president. 

  Yet....here we are.

The topic leads to another source of anger:

The Verizon Gestapo:

  Mr. Smarty Pants has been a long time user of Verizon's services.  And they happen to offer pretty decent phone and internet services.  But they sold out their customers by supplying the NSA with the data they required.  Their decision was not a required one.  Other communication companies denied the NSA access to such data.  It is after all an invasion of privacy.  Not to mention that NSA resources could be much more effectively allocated...but Verizon sold us out.

This is outrageous and Verizon should feel that outrage so maybe we should kick that company where it hurts.  Financially.

Mr. Smarty Pants needs to look at his Verizon contract but i'm pretty sure that there is a clause in there somewhere stating that Verizon will not share any customer information with anyone.

Which they did.  No matter how indirectly they may admit it was.

So....i smell a class action lawsuit.  And if there is one i want to be part of it.  Lets make Verizon hurt.  Let's reveal them to be collaborators and liars.

Any info on this topic would be greatly appreciated so please e-mail Mr. Smarty Pants or post a related comment.

P.S.

I'm back.

Sorta.

March M.I.A.

  March is gone.  The king is dead.  Long live the king.

  Mr. Smarty Pants grandmother passed away a few weeks ago.  She was the center of the family "universe".  And after fighting away illness for what seemed like half her life she finally succumbed.  This being a very personal issue; Mr. Smarty Pants will say little more about this wonderful woman.  The end was bittersweet but the suffering is over.

  March had Mr. Smarty Pants afflicted with the worst case of bronchitis and body aches and fevers i have ever experienced.  And it lasted the entire 4 weeks.

  March also trampled me with my 40th birthday.

March sucks.  And from here on March can suck my ass.

  Needless to say Mr. Smarty Pants has had little desire to post or do much of anything else over the last few weeks.  World events, war, poitics, tragedy, conflict...all have been buzzing around in the background like some white noise.  My world has been quite small over the last few weeks.  A world consisting only of family and a few friends.  And as is often the case when losing someone close; there comes a change in perspectives and definite changes in mood.

  None of these things have been conducive to writing though sour moods, madness and intoxication have inspired some great writers and thinkers.  So there is something to be said about these things but Mr. Smarty Pants prefers expressing himself when he is a bit more level headed and stable.

Whatever that means.

  Over the next few days i'll begin posting again, getting back in my groove and bitching to anyone who cares to listen about the world's most talked about topics.

  Things like:

Immigration, the War, the economy, Iran, and that question that has been haunting everyone from the mullah's hiding in the mountains of Pakistan with Bin Laden to the Pope as he sit's on the can:

  "Where the fuck is Natalee Holloway..?"

Ya'll come back now ya hear..??

Thoughts on Cough-Ka

  Mr. Smarty Pants has been battling bronchitis for what will be seven days tomorrow.  And unfortunately Dr. Pookie got it from me and coincidentally our new puppy is battling her own lung infection.  So the entire household has been laid up coughing, sneezing and weezing all over the place.  Only our old cat Chairman Meow; has escaped unscathed.  As a result we have him doing errands like going to the dry cleaners and the market for us.

  Mr. Smarty Pants dis-ease has prevented him from updating his posts over the last week.  But rest assured.....i've been watching everything that's been going on.  Yes i keep one eye watching over my well being while the other eye takes care of the tasks at hand; but i also have an eye watching over local and world events very carefully.  Yes i have three eyes and though the third one is not apparent it is in fact fully functional.  Mr. Smarty Pants won't reveal this eye's location but suffice it to say that in order for me to use this third eye effectively i must not wear any pants and have a prescription monacle placed at a precise location in my butt crack while i'm bent over a small footrest.

  Did i mention that Nyquil is actually rather pleasant..??

Clinton/Lewinsky=Bush/Katrina

  Both involved massive blow jobs that haunted presidents and their administrations.  One resulted in a stain on a black dress and the other resulted in a stain on the national conscience.  A very badly stained national conscience.

  Bush knew what Katrina would do.

He denied anticipating the devastation wrought by the storm a few days after it hit the gulf coast but a recently leaked video shows that Bush was warned in advance of the potential for devastation caused by Katrina.  The video even made Mr. Smarty Pants feel a tiny bit of sympathy for "embattled" Michael Brown who was hung out to dry by the administration.

  But this isn't really a surprise to anyone right..?  You can even tell from the generally apathetic public reaction to the news that the American public just doesn't want to deal with this bit of news at this particular time.  I mean really...he bullshits so much that most of us have lost track already.  But what makes it worse is that we really don't seem to give a shit anymore.  We're just along for the ride when it comes to the bush administration.

  The bush adminstration speaks to us the way some older "junkie" acquaintance would with promises of self betterment all the while asking us to loan him a couple of bucks in order to persue this "dream".  And we...heh....we just give him the money.

Suckahs....

U.S. and India sign nuclear power pact.

  Umm....yay..? 

   Ok.  Mr. Smarty Pants will return to his bronchitis.  Nasty little bug it is too.  I've coughed up these nasty bright green buggers with the consistency of pasta al dente that can eat through concrete and absorb light.

Wild shit.

Port O' Potty................

Bush push for "Port" reform.

  President Bush has once again shown his close and inseperable ties to Arab oil by threatening to veto any opposition to the United Arab Emirates operating some of the most crucial ports in our nation. So...let Mr. Smarty Pants tell you a bit about the U.A.E. based upon statistics from the C.I.A.'s own web site.

  The United Arab Emirates:

  Population approximately 2,563,212 of which 1,606,079 are non nationals.  !9% of the total population are actually UAE nationals while a full 23% of the population are either Iranian or from another Arab country.  So basically about 60% of the entire population of the UAE consists of foreign nationals and a total of 73.9% of the population aged 15-64 are non-nationals.

  The UAE itself is not a democracy, it is a federation of seven emirate states each with it's own local ruler who is usually a sheik.  Federation presidents, prime ministers and cabinets are appointed.  There are no elections.

  The UAE's wealth is based on it's massive output of oil and natural gas.  Approximately 30% of the GDP and the CIA estimates that the UAE has enough oil to last for the next 100 years (based on current levels of usage.)

  The UAE maintains an embassy in Washington and consulates in New York and guess where else...?

    Houston, Texas of course.  Bush country.

It explains a lot.

One more note.  The UAE was identified as a major financial center used by Al Queda for transferring cash to the 9/11 hijackers.

So...what's your point Mr. Pants..?

  My point..??   My point is i don't want these people operating our ports. 

  Mr. Smarty Pants has seen the few bush supporters on this item trying to assuade the public and defecting republicans that the security at these ports will not be handled by the UAE and that considering the intense scrutiny; security should be all the tighter.

  But the fact remains...these people will know how the ports operate and eventually they will go back home and some amongst them will share this information be it for sympathy, or money, or Allah; with a potentially dangerous individual who will exploit it to our demise.

  Are we naive enough to think that just because the UAE has joined the U.S. in it's war on "terror" that the average individuals living there are sympathetic and supportive of the American cause..??

  If so....are you interested in purchasing a pair of Mr. Smarty Pants used and krusty magical underwear..??

Bush does indeed have a large brass set of balls threatening a veto.  That jerkoff has gotten to the point where he flagrantly decides what's in America's best interest whether America likes it or not.

  Well Mr. Pres.....America don't like it...!!!

What george needs is to do something to take his mind (gag) off things for a bit.  Mr. Smarty Pants suggests he go on a hunting expedition with his buddy dick.

  But as for letting our ports fall under the operation of the UAE..??

  In Texas that would be like leaving the fox to guard the henhouse wouldn't it..??

  On the other hand...letting the Arabs in our ports makes about as much sense as...ummm..re-electing bush.

Things don't look too good.

Is Mr. Smarty Pants a bit biased..??  You bet your ass i am.

Minutiae.

  Late Sunday morning, four coffee's later with what Mr. Smarty Pants calls the "een" breakfast.  That being caffiene, nicotine and listerine.  Exactly in that order.    My pulse rate is at about 460 bpm. so i figured let me calm myself down a bit and place a short post before i tackle the laundry that awaits (after my breakfast burger that is)

The Olympic Lames

  Is it just Mr. Smarty Pants or are these the lamest winter olympics i've ever seen.  Filled with under-achieving prima donnas who are of course the highlighted competitors.

  Michelle Kwan who never should have been in there to begin with dropped out.  At least that was done in training.

  Bode Miller couldn't handle a curve if he were the netting in a batting cage....party on Bode..!! And Jeremy Bloom....maybe he had his mind on football.

Lindsey Jacobellis thought she was back home hamming it up for the homey's.  She wasn't.  Cost her the Gold.

  Not to mention the games are cutting into all my favorite NBC shows like....umm....uhh.  Well...just Press the Meet, The McLaughlin Group, and of course "spittin'" Chris Matthews.  Ok then.  No Olympics on Sundays.

The American Dream-er.

(Soapbox please.....thanx.)

  Mr. Smarty Pants just wanted to give some of my fellow Americans a concerned pinch in the ass.  Initially i considered a concerned bitch slap to the collective face but after reconsidering decided on something a bit more subtle and more easily deniable.

Whats happening to us?  Why have we become so complacent that we allow our nation to be corrupted and mismanaged by an administration that has lied, decieved, hidden, fabricated and corrupted on almost every level of government.

  An administration that has done nothing on the issues of medicare, healthcare, social security, education, housing, social reform....etc.

  An administration that took us from a surplus less than a decade ago to a deficit that we'll be paying off when the USS Enterprise is actually a starship.

  An administration that took us to war under false pretense.

  One word:  "Katrina"

Not to mention a "Dick" who can't keep it "Straight".

  Good lord.

Wake the fuck up already...!!!

Shit..!!  i shoulda bitch slapped ya..!!

Fun with Dick and Cheney...

See Dick Talk. 

  Did anyone watch the Faux News interview Brit Hume held with president of vice Cheney on the umm..."hunting accident"?.  Mr. Smarty Pants has the transcript right here.

  You can almost hear dicks voice when you read it. You can almost smell the cheesy smell of dick.  But dick spoke anyway.  And what he said; when pondered about in a calm and systematic matter actually comes across as the same pile of horseshit as it would if i had simply rushed to my ongoing conclusions of old dick.

  First of all...in any instance where i've heard a story of someone shooting or stabbing someone else and then laying low for a day...it raises eyebrows.  If Whittington had shot cheney...we would have heard about it in real time.  Not in dick time. Dick time sucks.  Dick sucks.  Ponder that. 

  Anyhow....he's the vice president with an entourage, secret service, medical team, cell phones, satellite phones and no one thought to play out immediate "damage control"..??  Why was that..?

  Well...Dick said that he left it to Katherine Armstrong to release the "occurence" to the local paper (the next day) because she was "credible and a witness" to the occurence.  She also is the owner of the ranch and a good friend etc...etc.

  Ok.  So Mr. Smarty Pants draws up a scenario:

  Myself and my friend Egyptoid are in Central Park hunting pidgeon with his pitbull tracking.  We spot a flock of pidgeons feeding on the body of what seemed to be a scraggly old homeless Katrina refugee recently evicted from his hotel because of FEMA.

  Anyways, Egyptoid and i draw our typical NYC pidgeon hunting weapons:  i have a Smith and Wesson model 460 XVR Compensated Hunter with a laser sight and Egyptoid armed with his old but reliable RPB SM 10

  We take aim at the pidgeons as they feed on the homeless man and open fire.  We miss all the pidgeons but strike the scraggly old body. But wait...!!!  That's no scraggly old Katrina refugee..!!!  It is in fact Michael Chertoff head of Homeland Security on a bender after a party at the NYC Office of Emergency Management..!!!  And he's wounded about the face and left shoulder....!!!

What should we do..!?!?!?

  Well first of all i have Egyptoid transport Chertoff to the nearest hospital on the back of my motorbike.  We secured him with a bungee.  But then what..??

  Mr. Smarty Pants is a person of prestige and importance.  I can't just let news of this accident  leak out with rumors and innuendo?...should i notify my press secretary and one of my lawyers to represent me before the media....after all who's gonna believe it coming from me..??

Wait..!!

  I have a better idea...i'll sleep on it tonite, then tomorrow i'll contact that guy i know who works at the Central Park Zoo taking the garbage to the dumpster...what's his name....something Armstrong.  Anyway...he knows the terrain.  He's seen this kinda thing happen in the park before.  I'll have this Armstrong guy report the story to the press.  But what press..??  The New York Times..??  Washington Post maybe..??  no....i've got it..!!  The National Enquirer..!!!  That's what i'll do.  I'll have this Armstrong guy report the incident the the National Enquirer.  I'm sure once the Enquirer knows it'll eventually filter down to everyone else.  Makes perfect sense to me.

'Course if something happens to Chertoff before i go to the press this whole mess could be so easily handled....

  Nahh.  I'm not that heartless...am i..??

(Scenario Completed)

  So.  Did anyone draw any conclusions to the way i handled things in my scenario..??

Is Mr. Smarty Pants a paranoid left wing extremist..??  Or just paranoid..?

Neither.

I'm just a Smarty stranded on Planet Stupid.

Why a Dick should never own a Gun...

"Cheney's got a gun..."

  Unless you live in a cave (and aren't named Osama) you probably know what Dick did a couple of days ago.  Apparently while hunting quail our "vice" president shot 78 year old fellow hunter Harry Whittington in an "apparent" accident.  The Smoking Gun even came up with a copy of the incident report form.

  But....is this what really happened..??  Mr. Smarty Pants has learned (through my network of resources) evidence to the contrary.  White House Spokesman Scott Mclennan was "peppered" with questions from the press regarding the one day delay in reporting the incident in which Mr. Whittington was "peppered" with buckshot.

  Scotty seemed a little flustered.  He reflexively responded that the entire episode was just another example of how the left wing conspiracy was somehow involved in the incident.  He also added that Michael Moore was being investigated for possible sabotage of the shotgun involved in the shooting.

  After the press conference Mr.Smarty Pants had a 1 to 1 meeting with Scotty at one of his favorite haunts....Hooters.  After a couple of quarts of Hooterade with Cuervo i had my own press conference with Scotty.

Some of the transcript is as follows:

Smarty: "So...Scotty...why the delay in reporting the "accidental shooting".

Scott: "What accidental shooting?"

Smarty: "the Whittington shooting"

Scott:  "Oh...him.  We were seeing if he would die.  So much easier if he did but since he didn't we needed             an alibi."

Smarty: "An alibi..??"

Scotty:  "Yes.  An Alibi, an excuse usually intended to avert blame or punishment as for failure and    negligence."

Smarty:  "I see.  So tell me about this war in Iraq"

Scotty:  "What war in Iraq..?"

You get the idea.  The Bush administration works in it's own time zone which explains how the shooting was reported a day late, and the New Orleans levee breaks were actually discovered a day before the administration admits to it.  Then there's the wiretapping thats been going on longer than we knew and the list goes on and on.  And that's just the part of the iceberg that's just sticking out.  Imagine what we can't see.  yes i could have said "that's just the tip of the iceberg" but it's so cliche....

Senate reaches astonishing conclusion on FEMA !!!

  A Senate panel studying the FEMA response to hurricane Katrina has reached the conclusion that FEMA fucked up and is rife with waste and mismanagement even at this time.

  Man is the Senate on top of things or what..??  Did they just figure this out..??  Mr. Smarty Pants can't wait till the Senate learns that we won WWII and have landed on the moon.

  The Senate concluded that they would definitely give FEMA a thorough slap on the wrist as soon as they were done jerking each other off.

Soon to be on "Oprah's Book Club":

  Mr. Smarty Pants has for a long time believed that Mankind's bane shall be the artificial intelligence he himself has created.  And if we don't destroy each other first, the robots will.

  So i say...we try to get along with each other as people, develop world peace and international cooperation, end diseases and poverty worldwide so that only then can the robots vanquish us to extinction.

  But if your one of these 'optimist" types who thinks you have to survive in order to propogate the human race (but why..??)....then this is the book to read.

Knock yourself out.